My Journal

Preparing to go to my training at Barton.  This morning I realized I had not heard yet if it was official that the training would start at 8:30am and where exactly at Barton was this meeting going to take place.  I’m still waiting on a response from Ember and, I’m sure, I’ll be leaving before I even get a reply.  After that, I’m hoping to be able to go by the SC DOR to change our retail license.  I’ll go, and if everything works ok, I’d like to take care of that since I’ll be in that side of town.

So far, I’m looking forward to a busy day.  We’ll see what’s in store!

I’m so glad to be home with the girls!  We arrived after midnight last night and, after unpacking and unwinding, it was 2am before we went to bed.  Still I tossed and turned for another hour before finally falling asleep from exhaustion.  We slept in some, but with my first appointment being at 11am, I had to get downstairs and get things ready.

So far it’s been a quiet and slow morning.  It will help us get into the rhythm of things.  I have a few things to do, including sorting out thru the mail and getting some money to the bank.  I’m feel so scattered brain that is not funny.  A to do list will help keep me organized and on track.

The ocean is quiet today, all the weather has calmed down from the freezing temperatures in the midwest and northeast.   It’s been a slow start on our last day at the condo.  I can’t believe it’s gone so fast, and that half the time was spent being sick.  In a way, I’m glad we are going back, but I’m not looking forward to hitting the ground running once we get to the office.  I am, however, looking forward to seeing the girls.

First 6-days of the year already gone. Day 7 on the way.  Today the ocean is as calmed as if nothing could disturb it.  It’s amazing how a storm can disrupt the waves and, as quickly as it came, is gone and the calm has been restored.

We spend the days not noticing what nature does around us.  When we do, we are in awe, because it is powerful.  Yesterday, the ocean could drown even the bravest of swimmers.  Today the biggest threat is to walk out there without sunscreen.

I just realized that life is going to be about what I make of it.  My annual frustration is because, I’m still sitting on my ass not doing anything to change my life.  Even though my running is improving, the spiritual journey, feels as if it was on hold.  The financial aspects are still on murky waters, and my personal achievements have stopped since I returned to school in 2008.  Even though I’m grateful for what I’ve done so far, it seems I’ve taken a sabbatical that has no foreseeable end.  I feel frustrated because I’m not growing spiritually, and my personal accomplishments have been placed on hold indefinitely.

So, what am I supposed to do?  Is this the year I get moving, get off my butt, do something more than letting time pass me by unnoticed, and without touching my heart and soul and moving me in a direction of self discovery?

Change happens one day at a time.  Habits are created one day at a time.  One step, then another.

Remember, just for today, do something to promote change.  Then repeat again, and again, until a habit is formed.

Go get’em girl!  The world is your playground… it’s all fun and games!

Happy 3-Kings’ Day to all!  Today the ocean is as loud as before.  Roaring and crashing on the shores with a vengeance.  As the morning started there was no rain.  But by now there is a constant drizzle.  The air is not as cold as it was expected, but we still hear reports from all over up north that the temperatures are dropping fast.  Recommendations to pet owners is to either bring them inside or make sure that they are protected from the elements if they are to stay outside.  Don and I have been worried about the dog our neighbors keep outside chained to the tree.  Even though it has a dog house, we are not sure how protected it will be when the temperatures drop tonight to single digits.

In other news, our vacation time is coming to an end, and I’m starting to feel the anxiety creeping up.  I know once home, I’ll be hitting the ground running, and I’m already behind in what I need to take care of.

For now, I’ll enjoy the last few days here.

I love the sound of the ocean when it anticipates a storm.  It roars like a beast wanting to be let out.  The seagulls disappear and the dolphins don’t dare come close to the edge.  As it crashes on the shores, it rumbles and rolls disrupting the sand.  On days like this it’s usually cloudy, even rainy.  Today is also cold and windy.

Fighting the wind in our run this morning will be the toughest part of our journey.  A journey I don’t want to talk about until it’s done.  I want to get out there and do my best today to get it done.  I spent most of last night tossing and turning because of a horrendous pain in my right leg.  So I’m not sure what to expect from going out running today.  I’ll get back to this after it!

=======

Part 2:

Ok, the run was good.  It drizzled the whole 6 miles, with the occasional burst of rain. Hat on, hat off, jacket on, jacket off, too.  We did a 30/30 second split that worked out pretty good.  Towards the end my leg hamstring kept wanting to cramp.  Thanks to the 30/30 split it never fully did.  Running on the road is harder on the joints, but it was better because we didn’t have to fight the wind as we did yesterday.  Also, only one coughing fit vs 4-5 yesterday.  Will be good when I can completely shake this cold off.

All in all, an uneventful 12-mile weekend.

Day 4 of the year, and I sit on the living room of the condo and ponder what is this year going to have in store for us.

As I mentioned before, every year we come to the condo to regroup, we take inventory, we make goal lists.  At the end of the year, we are usually back to square one or so it feels.  We have survived another year and we start another list.  We plan for the new year with hope and dreams and goals and we set out to accomplish those starting as soon as we get home from our vacation.

During this vacation, however, we wanted to get used to a new year’s routine, get up early, write, exercise, bike ride, and even run a 20+ mile training run, amongst other things.  Then we got sick.  I don’t remember the last time I felt this sick in my life, because I don’t have time to get sick during the year.  We have been playing it by ear all vacation long.  With 5-days left, I’ve been feeling anxious because I haven’t gotten much done and it’s almost time to go back home.  Once I get back, I’m afraid it will be a rat race again.

I guess my biggest goal for 2014 is going to be time management.  Falling into a good routine, of getting up early, doing some journaling and reading, and exercising, then making sure I’m eating well and de-stressing, will be crucial.  At least that’s a rough draft of the routine.  Staying motivated to do all these will continue to be my biggest challenge.

Practice one day at a time.

Out for a 40-minute walk, the wind cuts thru to the core.
The day is clear, the water calm, only one seagull on the shore.
Walking a mile on the sand, watching as the waves crashing by,
the mind racing as fast as the blasting sand.

The water resists the wind. The sand stands still for the seagulls to land.
In the time it takes to walk the shore, the body gets chilled with the wind.
The thoughts revert to the cold, calming the mind for a while.
And once indoors, as body warms up, the feeling of elation stays.

Still under the weather some.  I finally was able to talk to daddy.  I’m glad they had a good time on New Year’s day.  I miss Puerto Rico this time a year.  The city is so festive and full of life.  It’s crazy too, though.  People tend forget the reason for the season and it’s always just about the parties.  Although usually the exception to the rule, there is the drunks and the accidents and the tragedies that plague the families because of it.  I’ve always felt, that when it’s your time, is your time, however this time a year, may be forced time or at least it seems like.

Sorry, didn’t mean to get so negative, just the sad reality of the times at hand.  Maybe it will be better tomorrow!

1st day of the new year, all is uneventful. As I watch the ocean from the condo, it inspires calmness and peace.  We have spent time at this condo for at least the last 10 Christmases.  Every year we look forward to our time here, regrouping, planning our next business year.  What that also means, for me especially, is recounting where I’m at in life. Taking inventory of the things that I’ve set out to do and accomplished and the ones that once more are moved to the new year’s resolution list.

And so it starts another year, and another list.  Hopefully this year, more things will get crossed instead of transferred over.

Many blessings to all!